Gabrielle Bernstein is an American motivation speaker, a life coach and also an author of many best-selling books such as The Universe has your back, Micracles Now, Add More ~Ing to Your Life, and her latest book which is The Judgement Detox- Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living a Better Life, she also was featured on Oprah show- Super Soul Session.
Here what I learned from her talk with Marie Forleo:
In our daily life, we lose so many chances to get anything we want in life due to one major fear of all kinds which is judgement. Not only we judge ourselves but also others as well, and this becomes a norm for us in this society, I think we need to stop judging others and ourselves to live a better life, because as you know life is short, why wasting the time on trivial things and imagining everything could happen inside your mind about the world?
By definition, judgement is a separation from oneness. That means that each of us always has inside us the kindness, compassion, love, empathy and when we embark on judging others, we’re separating ourselves from that oneness, the goodness in us. On a day-to-day basis, we could this practice so hard for us to follow, since we are affected by a myriad of things on social media such as Facebook, or Instagram, alluring us into false assumptions about who we are and other people’s lives.
In reality, we are more likely to judge people based on their appearances, their superficial features on the surface without digging deeper to get to know them because we’re so impatient and we use busyness as an excuse for not trying to understand human’s motives. And actually, when we judge others, it says much about us not them, it tells us about who we are, what kind of person we’re choosing to become.
For example, one day you’re scrolling newsfeeds on your Facebook, you saw many fancy pictures of your friends on their trip to France, and your judgement queen comes into play, it says something like this: “Oh, they must be so rich than me, they have all the conditions to go to those fancy trips, they must have aa good life as compared to mine, why my life was so sucky and dark like this? Blah blah,” a train of negative thoughts flowing across your mind and eventually you end up feeling bad about yourself. We keep doing this many times per day without even conscious about it. But in reality, their lives isn’t good as you, they still have many dark sides that you haven’t seen yet, maybe the things you have right now is what they are lacking, so stop judging and live your life now.
Of course, you can’t get away your judgement queen, you just know to be aware of it and take control of it when it happens. When you’re about to judge someone or something, just be aware first, and then direct your energy to the positive one, don’t make any assumptions about that person or that thing, just realize when you make assumptions about others, you are doing yourself a disservice for not having compassion for others and becoming a nice person.
One important thing I need to drive home is ALL ATTACK IS A CALL FOR LOVE.
I bet you already experienced those things in your daily life. You saw someone yelling at the other person with anger, resentment and even use violence to treat that one, so cruel, right? Or you get angry with someone you love, your parents, your lover and best friends, but in reality, when looking deeper at the situation, you will see your vulnerability and anger all stem from your past traumas, childhood experiences, your surroundings shaping you, your anger being exuded just for sake of seeking love and compassion from other. In other words, you want others to understand you more, and know your boundaries to behave properly, etc. So when someone gets angry or do something wrong to you to express their frustration towards you, just be nice, they are calling for your love, the only thing you can do for them is be compassionate, make them feel good about themselves, have an open conversation and get curious. By doing that, you are not only forgiving yourself for not storing all the sadness in you but for other’s misbehaviors as well.
Bottom-line: So next time, when you find yourself about to judge others, be aware of it and choose peace instead of making up your stories and feeling bad about yourself.
=>>Watch in full episode: https://bit.ly/2WBRlcc
Summarized and Written by Tuyet Son
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